On this, the most romantic day of the year, here is a love letter to my daughter, and to all the women who dream of having THE fairytale wedding of their dreams.
I have seen enough of Pinterest and “Say Yes to the Dress” to appreciate the staggering number of decisions that are now expected of a modern bride. It is a fascinating glimpse into the whirlwind of activity that goes into planning a wedding in the 21st century. The choices are vast, and there are far more choices and decisions than ever before.
When I think back on my wedding, I was no slacker, but I don’t remember obsessing over finding the PERFECT shoes for my bridesmaids, or fretting over whether the reception chairs would be espresso or mahogany finished.
Is it any wonder Bridezillas and Monster-in-laws abound?
Television, the tabloids and the internet heap tremendous pressure on brides to create the most perfect and spectacular event imaginable.
Your wedding is NOT a performance. Your guests are NOT an audience of critics.
Your wedding is a solemn ceremony and your guests are present to witnesses it.
Your wedding is a joyful celebration and your guests are there to celebrate with you.
Trust me when I tell you they won’t appreciate that you spent hours picking out fabric for the bows. They won’t care if your entrance or exit is YouTube worthy. (Really!)
My hopes for brides everywhere…
- May your days of planning be a joy to you, and not a burden. May the anticipation be fun and not pressure-filled.
- May you keep the day in perspective: it is only the first day of a life-long journey.
- May you place more emphasis on preparing yourself to be a wife than being the bride du jour.
- May you find time to spend with the women in your future husband’s life. Ask them for recipes for his favorite foods and desserts. You’ll endear yourself to them and be able to cook up a surprise for your husband one of these days.
- May you also make time to visit or call a woman whose marriage you admire and seek her advice and counsel. Her words of wisdom will be far more precious and important than whatever else you would have spent that time doing.
The truth is, your wedding will be most special and memorable to you – and you alone. I know you don’t believe it now, but no matter how exquisite your dress, his tux, your hair, the flowers, your shoes, the words in your vows, the music you painstakingly select….it will become just one more wedding your guests attend, and even just one more wedding your bridesmaids and groomsmen participated in.
So my wish for you is that you plan it well, but don’t lose sight of the days beyond it, because every day of your marriage is just as important and precious as your wedding day.